wines

Relax. You're just hammered. And you're embarrassing your friends. The health benefits encountered by the wine drinker aren't incurred in a single evening. If you're up at 2:00AM with a Shiraz lamenting how much of a lightweight everyone is as you listen to Journey in your underwear then you are most certainly doing it wrong. As with anything as awesome as the vino, moderation is key. In fact, with said moderation comes some fabulous health benefits. I'm no doctor, so take all of this with a grain of salt. But just trust me when I say I've done a lot of research on the subject of wine (sometimes at 2:00AM while listening to Journey in my underwear).

It's true what they say. A couple glasses a day can keep the doctor away. Here're some examples:

Cholesterol: A study conducted by some people smarter than us at the University of California-Davis claim that chemicals in wine called saponins can actually lower your bad cholesterol. Don't believe them? Go to France, where crapes and croissants are slathered in butter and devoured wholesale like sperm whales swallowing shrimp. Meanwhile the US and Great Britain struggle with clogged arteries and obesity. Washing down your ice cream cake with red wine isn't going to lose you much weight, but there's definitely something to be said for what's been dubbed the French Paradox.

Cheese sandwiches for all!

Kidney Stones: Everyone who doesn't have kidney stones raise your hand. Not so fast men!

Apparently those who live in (wine) glass houses do not throw (kidney) stones.

This is a health benefit that seems can only be enjoyed by the fairer sex. The University of Harvard recently conducted a study with 81,000 women that saw a reduction in kidney stones in connection with increased fluid intake. Which liquid saw the most benefit? Wine of course, boasting a risk reduction of 39%. Apparently those who live in (wine) glass houses do not throw (kidney) stones.

Stroking: The bad kind. Thankfully, wine's been proven to help with this as well. Italian and Australian researchers teamed up in 1998 and found that people who had a glass of wine with their meals saw reduced chance of atherosclerosis, or thickening of the artery walls. This thickening can cause a disturbance in blood reaching the brain, punching your ticket all the way to Stroke City. People who didn't drink and people who drank too much saw no such benefit.

Cardiovascular: Stop at 'buzzed' and your heart will stay at 'beating.' From 1980 on, a variety of studies have been conducted linking moderate wine consumption with a decrease (of 50% no less) in cardiovascular disease. Obviously, pesky circumstances like genetics and smoking should also be taken into account. Regardless, it's still reassuring to hear that a few glasses every now and then will keep your ticker going in ways Dick Cheney can only dream of.

Mortality: As if the above reasons weren't enough to dive head first into a bottle of zinfandel, wine can help you live longer as well. This comes from a variety of studies and worldviews that alcohol, when not abused, is actually quite good for us. Take it away American Heart Association!

'Over the past several decades, many studies have been published in science journals about how drinking alcohol may be associated with reduced mortality due to heart disease in some populations. Some researchers have suggested that the benefit may be due to wine, especially red wine. Others are examining the potential benefits of components in red wine such as flavonoids (FLAV'oh-noidz) and other antioxidants (an'tih-OK'sih-dants) in reducing heart disease risk.'

Stop at 'buzzed' and your heart will stay at 'beating.'

It's important to note that these benefits are more commonly attributed to red wine as opposed to white. The most beneficial part of the grape, the skin, is removed before white's fermentation and leads to a lower concentration of antioxidants and what're known as 'free radicals' (keeping your cells in check).

Equally worth note is the fact that with this many positives there are bound to be some negatives. You may have discovered this on your own already, but wine and alcohol consumption can lead to migraines and/or severe weight gain. Thankfully, we're competent, responsible wine drinkers who only overdo it 'on occasion.' But despite how much we drink over the course of our weekends: so long as we keep our wining in check, it can help keep us in check too.

Cheers to your health!